23rd February 2022 Dr Beena
Hello everyone. I just needed to post my thoughts today. The picture above is the epitome of naïve delight😊. I painted this a week after Mika had passed on. Let me say it gave me tremendous joy.
Zara and I miss her very much. Today would have been her fourth birthday. Nevertheless, her legacy and her gift have been unadulterated happiness. Some of my friends talk to me about the pain of loss. I tell them that I received an unusual form of joy in caring for her. I am unable to describe it. To those who feel, how does extreme sadness and bliss coexist? I am still trying to figure that out. The past two weeks have been time for me to grieve and reflect. I had many moments of sadness, but not those moments of bliss I had during the last few days of caring for her. Some even told me that it was not bliss but the relief of her passing on. It happened while I was caring for her and not after her passing on.
I am grateful that she gave me that beautiful feeling. I have pondered about that. I felt that maybe, the love I had for her was so deep, something I had never had before. Perhaps it was that magnitude of sadness, meaning I had hit the nadir. There was nothing else to rise but bliss? Let me know your thoughts.
About the painting, I just felt there was this rather mesmerising joy on Mika’s and Zara’s faces to see that heart above😊😊. They both go crazy with toys. I generally get them similar toys and watch what happens next. It is strange, Zara will pick Mika’s toy and jump onto the sofa (her haven). But Mika will not let go and will retrieve it😊😊. I think there is a video on that in my earlier post. In this painting, the heart depicts my love for both of them.
Mika has passed on, but she will remain in our hearts forever😊. That is a great legacy, Mika, to be loved so much.