Not Your Soap Opera

It is so easy to give advice when it’s not your problem, isn’t it?  Not sure what it is about me.  I attract people who want to tell me their problems.  Perhaps in another life, I was a therapist.  I am a problem solver.  I always want to solve problems, even if it is not mine.  I believe it has to do with wanting my family/friends to be happy, to be in a good place mentally and emotionally.  Also, somehow, our minds have much more clarity when the problem is not ours.

This desire to help, to alleviate someone’s pain can also get you into a whole lot of trouble.  Sometimes family/friends turn against you because they don’t like what you have to say, don’t want to hear the truth even if they have asked for the advice.

A wise friend once said this to me, after such a fiasco.  “It is not your soap opera.  You play the lead in your own soap opera.  Let others play the lead in theirs.  Just listen.”

So, these days, I just listen.  When asked what do I think they should do?  I say, “What do you want to do?”  I simply guide them back to their own solutions.  Because deep inside, we all know what we should do, don’t we?  And ultimately, we need to step back into playing the lead roles in our own soap operas:)

I leave you with one of my acrylic paintings entitled “Coffee Sipping Porch”.  But then, all porches are for sipping coffee, aren’t they?  Usually, it’s on my porch, while sipping coffee, I play the role of therapist:)

6 thoughts on “Not Your Soap Opera

  1. Hi Kala

    A practical approach to the numerous problems we encounter. Be it ours or of others. Most importantly a cup of coffee or tea can soothe frayed nerves even if problems can’t be solved.
    Love that welcoming porch. Can imagine sitting there and letting all troubles disappear.

    Thank you for posting


  2. Only lately I have taken to this habit of sitting out my evenings in the so-called porch of mine. It simply gives me time to relax and reflect while watching the birds. I wonder why I do this now. Is it because I’m growing old and there’s so much to ponder over.
    Kala your painting of the porch is beautiful and inviting. I can imagine people spending time sitting in those cozy chairs sipping their favourite drink. But somehow it has a tinge loneliness for me when your kids have all grown up.

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