23rd September 2021 Kala Pohl
Friends tell me that my middle name should have been Pollyanna. Or maybe even my first name. I choose to see the glass half-full – always. And no, I have not had it easy all my life. Lots of ups and downs, pain, health issues, tough work environments and on and on. Yet, I choose to believe in the goodness of people, I choose to learn from each experience.
To me, the greatest challenge has always been managing the Voice – the one inside my head. You know the one I am talking about? We all have it. The one that makes you relive bad experiences over and over again. The one that has you having future conversations with people, the fact that this scenario may never happen is irrelevant. The one that brings back past conversations so that you can say what you left out in the original conversation. The one that rewrites the story so that your Ego can feel a lot better. Ah yes, Voice and Ego are the greatest of buddies. And sometimes, it even creates false memories of events so that it shows you off in a better light – where you are right and everyone else is wrong.
Regardless of how smart, rich, happy we are, we still deal with the challenge of managing Voice. It has more power than anything else imaginable. Our thoughts create depression, anger, anxiety and much more. And the worst part, only we can manage it. No one can really help us. Sure, we can talk to friends, professionals. But ultimately, at the end of the day, lying in bed – it’s just us and Voice, isn’t it?
So, how do I manage it? By becoming more aware of my thoughts. It started slow, but after practicing for years, has become second nature now. My daily meditations have been instrumental in bringing this about. In the past, I would be in the throes of thinking about something bad that happened, and before I realize it, I have just wasted away an hour. These days, within minutes, I become aware of what I am thinking and can bring that negative journey to a screeching halt. Other times, I consciously think about something bad that happened to bring closure to that event in a healthy way. Either way, I am the Boss! Hmmm…that was Ego speaking by the way. Perhaps it would be best to say that I work on being the Boss every day:)
Lao Tzu said, ““He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”.
So, are you the Boss?
My acrylic painting – a place to sit, amongst nature and ponder about life.